Assalamualikum. Let’s start by making this dua that May Allah make us righteous practicing muslims and our generations to come. Aameen
Being a parent is a huge blessing. Alhamdulilah. But it ALWAYS comes with responsibilities. Many of you may assume that this open letter is by a parent. No. I’m not yet a parent. But growing up in this filthy world I do realise that what’s ahead of me and many of us, is worst yet to come.
I want all the parents or future parents to know that- our parents protected us from this filthy world to a point that, when we saw the world with our eyes, some of us stumbled to wrong and some of us had the ability by the will of ALLAH to fight off the evil. It is very sweet of parents to put us under a safe sanctuary. We, as kids were unaware of the fitnah of this world because Our parents protected us so much (there is nothing wrong with it). But the loop hole which got in was, they never prepared us fully to deal with fitnah by ourselves.
What I mean here is, The times you have grown were different and the times we are growing is different and the generation ahead of us which will grow will be different. Our parents and one day when we become parents as well, will try to protect our kids from falling into trap of Shaitan. But remember, Shaitan and his army, sees us and our children from places we don’t see them. Ask yourself this question- Are you forever going to be with your child, keeping them in a protected sanctuary? No. One day your kids have to explore this world.
Today I see the younger kids infront of me and I pray Allah that ya ALLAH make coming generations from my family and from the ummah righteous. Protect them as we are incapable of doing so. Ya Allah protect us and them from traps of Shaitan and make us steadfast in deen. Aameen.
When I grew up I had decent cartoons to watch ( not all but few) but if you see cartoons of today’s time. It’s all gone to minor form of adult activities. The clothes the so called princess characters wear, the dialogues and what not. Astaghfirulla. They will come for us and for our kids too.
So how do we prepare ourselves and our generations. Many would say we should cut off access from internet, tv etc. But this is not a permanent solution. I want to ask these people who give this opinion that- for how long will you be able to imply this? Once your child is in university, you think they won’t have any access to computers and phones. Leave about University, you think they won’t know all of this in schooling. And you cannot make your child sit in the house, between four walls for the rest of their lives. It’s not a right thing to do. Some may say we will check their phones etc. This is spying. It is sinful. I know many of us be like what is wrong? it’s the protection of own child. This is not protection. You only check a phone when you doubt and when you doubt, you become suspicious. When you become suspicious, you spy. Which is a sin. Then what is the ultimate solution?
I believe the ultimate solution is to incorporate Qur’an and sunnah daily in our lives. Start from you. Give time to learn Qur’an and sunnah. Implement it. Right from young age teach your daughters and sons what Islam is. What is our purpose. Teach both sons and daughters hijab and modesty. As they grow up, speak to them of real issues that happens around that cannot be swept under the rug. For example- when your child (daughter or son ) is a teenager. Talk to them about anger issues, mood swings, partying, dating. These things are very common in our society. Don’t scare them saying if I find you doing this your done in my hands. Instead, speak to them from perspective of Islam- Qur’an and Sunnah. Tell them the reward of not involving in such sins. Tell them how being obedient to Allah is beautiful and not stressing
Coming to us, when you are home. Stop involving in phones. Speak and listen to your child. Ask them what’s going on around in school, college etc. As a child (young child) they are very excited to speak to parents every day and tell them what happened at school. At this age they don’t hesitate in sharing every single detail. But as they grow, have you noticed that your child’s conversation about school or any place reduces. Why? Because we got very busy and we dint listen to them or it’s because when they came and told to us about something they did wrong, we reacted violently. Your violent reaction can be one of the reasons it pushed them away from telling you about things that you should be aware.
We need to change ourselves for the sake of ALLAH in order to have a better generation in shaa ALLAH. You cannot be missing prayers or pray alternative times, read Qur’an or not at all, lie, watching movies, listening music, coming home late nights, not dressing up well ( both men and women), not helping anyone at home, sitting as a punch bag, wrong behaviour with your spouse and family members, smoke etc and expect your children will become pious. How? Children learn what they see. So next time if you see your child using a wrong tone, language or show a improper behaviour. Check yourself and surroundings to understand, where this is coming from, before, hitting your children or scolding them.
Prepare your children for the world they will have to face. You may think that OH my parents never spoke to me of the obvious situations yet, I dint indulge into wrong. So I don’t have to do all this. Let me tell you something, your inability to involve in sins was a mercy from ALLAH. And in a time where you grew in, will not be the same time your kids will grow up. The reality can be swept under the rug but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
Change yourself for the sake of ALLAH and not just you, your spouse should contribute as well. Involve your children not by force but by calling out them with love. But before this, we all need to ask Allah for help in our duas. There is a lot In Islam apart from Salah, fasting, zakat, hajj and hijab. We need to learn so much more and implement it in shaa ALLAH and pass on to coming generations.
Lastly, I would advise to take counselling sessions from righteous people that can help in parenting. We are in this life as a test. Don’t be selfish to get yourself passing marks and fail your children by improper parenting. You do so much for your child’s success in this world. You miss your sleep, schedule, work so hard till you are knocked out to provide them best education, other facilities to make them successful and independent in this temporary world. Then, why not keep more efforts to help them become successful in the hereafter? Make independent in deen ( which means help them to learn and practice Islam in a way in shaa ALLAH, that even if you aren’t around them, they stick to what is permissible)
May ALLAH help us and our generations to come, guide us and our generations to come and forgive us and our generations to come.. Aameen
Fiamaanillah 💗