What not to say!!!!

Assalamuwalaikum wa rahmatullahi wa baraktahu sisters and brothers..i hope ur all doing well by the mercy of Allah and in the best state of imaan and health. I learnt from my mother, she said- Understand that, may b what ur trying to convey is a good thing but how ur trying to convey it matters the most. I think there are so many times in our lives where PeoLe tell us or we tell People, unintentionally, some of the worst advise. One may not realise an after effect that comes along with it. May allah help us all and forgive us aameen..

And the worst advise I’m talking of is – EITHER YOU FOLLOW EVERYTHING IN ISLAM OR DON’T DO IT AT ALL. Yaani (in urdu- follow karna hai toh poora karo ya phir mat karo) IT’S LIKE SAYING u either pray 5 times a day or don’t pray at all.

First of all let’s take the same I quoted above and give an example of salah itself. Now imagine someone is doing their best towards their prayers to pray and they missed, for example – fajar. Would any wise person say that- LOOK I think you either pray 5 times or don’t pray at all? So by this advise, either this person should pray all 5 times and by mistake if they missed a prayer, they miss all other 4 as well, instead of making it up..now think, what If someone actually follows it? They either pray all 5 or don’t pray for the whole day..any mindful muslim won’t do this, right???? Because if someone said this bad advice and the other person follows it, what will they answer Allah when asked about it?

One more incident i would like to throw light on. For example, and mind you, there are many sisters who go thru this so many times. and this is not just said by non muslims, these are words even from Muslim, i.e from our community. if a sister is trying to work on her hijab, she isn’t there yet but she’s trying her best. So why do the sisters get to hear the same advice, that u either follow it or don’t do it at all. You know how dangerous is this type of discouragement?

Imagine saying this to someone, which ofcourse causes a damage . And that sister who is trying her best to be a hijabi, all of a sudden stops. Bcz u said u either follow it completely or don’t do at all. So listening to ur advice she stopped. How are u going to answer Allah for this discouragement?

In today’s world, we have forgot the beauty of correcting people. We all have heard stories of prophets right. Right from Adam a.s to prophet Muhammad sallalaahu alayhi wassalam. How did they correct others? Were they harsh or sarcastic? No. They were worried and used best of the words they could, to do their best, to make the person understand and accept. So why are we being harsh, when we are Correcting PPL?

Instead, our approach should be that we go to PPL who are facing some difficulty in their imaan..be it salah, fasting, hijab, earning, modesty etc. Anything. We should have a healthy conversation, where we understand what makes certain things difficult for them, instead of giving such bad advises or putting them down. We should encourage them saying that hey I’m with u. We shall do it togather..

Remember – Think before you say. Think before you act. In the end, i would like to quote a hadith from Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 130, and it’s grade is Hasan
Mundhir at-Tawri reported what Muhammad ibn ‘Ali (ibn al-Hanafiyya) said about, “Is the repayment of kindness anything except kindness?” He said, “It is not denied to either the pious or the deviant.”

By this hadith, we all understand the importance, kindness carries. Remember to be kind is not to be a fool. To be kind, was from the manners of our beloved prophet Muhammad sallalaahu alayhi wassalam. So let’s do our best to follow the same manner in shaa ALLAH.

Jazakallah khair assalamualikum wa rahmatullahi wa baraktahu.